雅思寫作範例 - Task1、Task2作文解析

「雅思寫作」往往是同學們覺得較有難度的部分,主要原因是:
1.需要用英文表達想法,包含各種圖表狀況描述、差異性比較、或者變動等
2. 需要闡述論證自己的觀點,這已經是學術論文的概念,而這種批判性的思考方式是台灣同學較缺乏的能力。


「雅思寫作」往往是同學們覺得較有難度的部分,主要原因是:
1.需要用英文表達想法,包含各種圖表狀況描述、差異性比較、或者變動等
2. 需要闡述論證自己的觀點,這已經是學術論文的概念,而這種批判性的思考方式是台灣同學較缺乏的能力。


writing-sample
Practice Makes Perfect!

不要緊張!以上這些問題,在經過定期的訓練其實都可以克服的。
我們理解同學們在考試前的徬徨,因此特別整理出雅思寫作範例,透過同學實際寫的作文,再由經驗豐富的雅思考官批改,並附上解說同學得失分的詳細原因。
希望在這4篇大小作文的示範下,同學們能對於雅思準備更有方向囉!

雅思寫作4大評分重點

雅思寫作4大評分重點

Task 1 圖表題寫作範例

雅思寫作task1-6分(題目示意)

雅思寫作Task1題目

【Task 1 Topic】
The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

Task 1 - 6.0學生作文回答

The two diagrams illustrate the development onf the anisland, mainly for the tourism purposes.

In general, the changes to this island are characterized by the accessibility and accommodation for visitors, as well as several new roads added for people and vehicle to use. Good overview.

The most apparent alteration is the construction of buildings and facilities. In the middle of this island, there is a reception situated in front of a pier where tourists can take boats to come arrive by boat. To the north of the reception is a restaurant, and these two buildings are surrounded by some houses which visitors can settle in.

There are also some paths added for travelers to trek. These footpaths are linked to each accommodation and stretch to the west of this island, where a beach stands to offer visitors an area for entertainment of swimming. Besides, a track which encircles the reception and leads to the restaurant and pier makes it more convenient for people to drive on.

考官如何評分

Task: 6.5 Coherence, cohesion: 5.5 Lexical: 6 Grammatical range/accuracy: 6
Score: 6.0

Criteria Score Comments
Task Achievement
(for Task 1)
6.5 Very good paraphrasing and overview with appropriately selected information at the beginning of the essay.

Key features and bullet points are adequately presented. Other than the developments, the eastern area of the island, which remains unchanged, should also be mentioned to gain higher marks under TASK.

You should also mention the fact the two areas of accommodation are located on either side of the reception area.

You used SURROUNDED in your essay, but it is not quite the case. Be clear and be precise.
Coherence & Cohesion 5.5 Information is listed somewhat robotically.

In order to gain more marks under this category, group your information better by mentioning that the accommodation + restaurant are placed in close proximity while leisure facilities are spread out.

Avoid making a list of A, B, C, and D without enough linking. You need a clear PROGRESSION.
Lexical Resource 6 You use an adequate range of vocabulary with no spelling mistakes for this task.

More attention needs to go to less common vocabulary with an awareness of style and natural collocation to gain more marks.

There is some repetition: visitors, accommodation. Inaccurate choice of vocabulary also occurred: ENTERTAINMENT.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy 6 If it’s the first time you’ve mentioned the topic, use the INDEFINITE ARTICLE to introduce it.

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You need fewer grammatical mistakes to gain higher marks. Having said that, none of your mistakes reduce communication. So keep up the good work!

Total Score for Task 1 6.0

Task 2 短篇英文寫作範例

雅思寫作task2-6分(題目示意)

雅思寫作Task2題目

【Task 2 Topic】
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Task2 - 6.0學生作文回答

In the modern society, high-developedadvanced technology has a huge impact on how people contact and interact with others. Although technology does bring us some benefits and cause positive changes, drawbacks still exist indicate in it what the drawbacks are.

There is no denying that technology provides us with convenience. People can easily talk to their friends by just picking up the phone or typing a few words on the little mobile screen, without the concern of distance between them or how hard it is to meet each other in person due to their busy schedules business. The advent of the Internet also gives us more opportunity to make friends with new unknown people beyond the border of countries through social media or some dating applications. The development of technology achieves something incredible which could not have been cannot be imagined in the old days.

Nonetheless, advanced technology doesn't always affect people in a positive manner. Too many means of connection with friends sometimes make people become careless to maintain their friendship or pay less attention to keeping a nice relationship. The further consequence is that people tend to find more new, quick and easy relationships rather than repairing the old ones when they have some problems with their friends. What's more, without the face-to-face interaction, it is hard to tell whether the people we know on the website are is good or not. Too vague. What do you mean?

In conclusion, while we take benefit from the advantages of technology, have the awareness of the underlying risks when using it and we must do not let the development of the technology change our behavior or forget how to cherish a sincere relationship.

考官如何評分

Task: 6 coherence, cohesion: 6 Lexical: 6
Grammatical range/accuracy: 6
Score: 6.0
Keep up the good work.

Criteria Score Comments
Task Response
(for Task 2)
6 You address all parts of the task adequately by discussing both the pros and cons of the topic.

However, you did not offer a solution how to strike a balance. At the end of your introduction, you focus on the drawbacks. That makes your readers think you are going to develop your argument based on that. Later, you talk about the convenience followed by the negative impact without really drawing a meaningful conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion 6 There is a clear overall progression in your essay.

Your ideas and examples are linked effectively. The end of your 3rd paragraph should be clearer. It should link to a concluding sentence about trusting people.

A clear concluding sentence for each main body paragraph will earn you 7 or above under this category.
Lexical Resource 6 Adequate vocabulary. Avoid using vague adjectives like GOOD/BAD in academic writing if you do not elaborate on this.

Overall good collocations, but you need all your words and phrases to work better together. Read more in English in order to produce natural collocations.

Do not form words and ideas in Chinese first before you try and translate them into English.
Grammatical Range & Accuracy 6 Adequate use of a mix of simple as well as more complex sentence structures.

You need tobe careful with your verb tenses and your singular/plural forms and the verbs that agree with the forms. None of your grammatical errors affect the meaning you try to convey.

Keep up the good work and reduce such mistakes to gain a higher score.
Total Score for Task 2 6 -
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